9. Seatracing without weigh-ins (as if lightweights mattered anyway).
8. Get to kick freshman tail in intersquads.
7. Fours go so badly that coach cuts losses and rows eights.
6. Penn goes early in January, allowing painting over their artwork.
5. High frequency of launch breakdowns, allowing for self-policed and shortened practices.
4. Hospital just steps away.
3. Currents to skew seat-racing results.
2. Employee churn at Mons.
1. Local architects take inspiration from makeshift footstretcher tools.